A eulogy for a husband
A complete example written by a wife, with a short version, why it works, and what to do if you cannot face reading it on the day.
Written as if by his wife, Sue. About 3 minutes read aloud · 363 words. Everyone in it is fictional, written for this page.
Thank you all for coming. I'm Sue, Graham's wife. I wasn't sure I would be able to stand up here today, but Graham always said I had never knowingly passed up the chance to have the last word, so here I am.
We met in 1986 at a friend's barbecue in Swindon. He was in charge of the sausages and he burnt every single one. I ate three to be polite. He told people for years that it was love at first bite, and I never once managed to stop him saying it.
Graham was a quantity surveyor, which none of us fully understood, and he was very good at it, which we took on trust. What we did understand was that he could estimate anything: how long a journey would take, how many chairs a party needed, how much paint a room would use. He was usually right, and when he wasn't, he had a very good explanation.
He was a wonderful dad to Katie and Rob. He built a treehouse that has outlasted two fences and a shed, he taught them both to ride a bike on the same stretch of pavement outside our house, and he cried at both of their graduations and denied it at both of them.
He loved cycling, his football team in spite of everything, and a crossword he could finish before I had finished my first cup of tea.
When he was diagnosed two years ago, he did what he always did. He made a plan. He read everything, asked the doctors more questions than they had time for, and still found the energy to organise the neighbours' recycling rota. He never wanted his illness to be the most interesting thing about him, and it wasn't.
Being married to Graham for thirty-five years meant never being cold, because he always had a spare jumper in the car, and never being lost, because he had always printed out the directions. It meant being looked after in a hundred small ways I am only now noticing.
Graham, thank you for thirty-five years of spare jumpers and printed directions. I'll try to manage the crossword. Goodbye, my love.
Write yours from your own memories
Answer a few gentle questions and we draft a eulogy from your answers only, to edit and then print in large type or as cue cards. Free.
Write a eulogy for your husbandWhy this example works
1. It admits how hard this is, in his words
Using his joke about the last word lets a grieving wife start without breaking down, and makes the room smile with her.
2. How you met, told as the story he told
Love at first bite is his line, not hers, so he is in the room from the second paragraph.
3. The illness is framed by how he met it
One paragraph, and it is about his character, making a plan and organising the recycling, not about the disease.
4. The small things only a partner knew
Spare jumpers and printed directions are the daily life nobody else saw. That paragraph is the heart of a eulogy for a husband.
5. The close is simple
It repeats those small things back to him and says goodbye. Nothing more is needed.
A short eulogy for a husband
If you only have a minute or two, or several people are speaking, a short eulogy can say just as much. About 0.5 minutes read aloud.
I'm Sue, and Graham was my husband for thirty-five years. We met at a barbecue where he burnt every sausage, and he spent the rest of our marriage calling it love at first bite.
He was a devoted dad to Katie and Rob, a patient teacher of bike riding and a terrible hider of tears at graduations. Being his wife meant always having a spare jumper in the car.
Graham, thank you for looking after me. Goodbye, my love.
Questions to start your own
Do not copy an example. Borrow its shape, and fill it with your own answers to these. One true, specific memory is worth more than any polished line.
- How did you meet, and how did he tell the story?
- What was he like as a dad, grandad or uncle?
- What did he do every day that you will miss?
- How did he face the hard times?
- What would you say to him now, just between you?
The eulogy builder asks questions like these one screen at a time, and our guide covers how to read a eulogy without breaking down.
Common questions
- Can someone else read my eulogy for my husband?
- Yes, and many widows and widowers choose this. You write it, or write it together, and a celebrant, minister, friend or one of your children reads it, often saying "Sue has asked me to read this for her". Your words are still the ones the room hears.
- How much should I say about his illness?
- Usually a sentence or two is enough. Say how he faced it, not what it did to him, and spend the rest of the time on the life he lived before it.
