A guide for families and mourners
Orthodox Christian funerals
An Orthodox funeral is sung almost from beginning to end, and it is longer than most people expect. The service follows the form of Matins, the morning office, so it is recognisably an act of worship rather than a ceremony built around a person's biography.
Two things tend to stay with visitors. One is the final kiss, when those present come forward to take their leave of the body directly. The other is that the funeral is not the end of it: prayer for the dead continues on the third, ninth and fortieth days and every year afterwards. Grief is treated as something the church keeps company with over time, rather than something concluded on the day.
- Burial or cremation
- Burial; cremation only with a bishop's blessing
- The service
- Sung throughout, following the form of Matins
- Memorials
- Third, ninth and fortieth days, then yearly
- Farewell
- The final kiss, with the body present
One thing to hold in mind
Orthodoxy is a communion of self-governing churches, and the names differ even where the service does not: the memorial is a panikhida in Slavic usage, a parastasis in Greek, a pomen in Serbian. This page follows the Orthodox Church in America, and local custom varies between jurisdictions and parishes. Your own priest is the authority for your family.
What happens, in order
The shape of the service as the Orthodox Church in America sets it out. Much of what follows is sung by a chanter or choir rather than spoken.
The vigil over the body
A vigil is served over the body, called a panikhida or parastasis, following the basic form of Matins. It opens with the Trisagion prayers and Psalm 91, and includes a Great Litany for the person who has died. Alleluia takes the place of the usual opening hymn, which marks the service out from an ordinary morning office.
The hymns of the funeral
The service carries the troparion and kontakion of the dead, which hold together the plain tragedy of death and the mercy of God. Psalm 119 is chanted over the departed, and hymns of Saint John of Damascus are sung, followed by the Beatitudes with verses inserted for the person who has died.
The readings
The epistle is read from the first letter to the Thessalonians and the gospel from Saint John. Both are readings about resurrection rather than about the individual, which is consistent with the character of the whole service.
The final kiss
At the end, the people come forward to give the final kiss and take their leave, while the closing funeral hymn is sung. The prayer at this point asks that God would remember the person who has died, because in Orthodox understanding it is being remembered by God that sustains eternal life. If you are attending and unsure, watch what those ahead of you do; nobody is obliged to come forward.
Burial
Burial follows. Prayers for the dead are usually offered again immediately afterwards, often at the meal that follows.
The third, ninth and fortieth days
Memorial services continue after the funeral. A panikhida is traditionally served on the third, ninth and fortieth days after a death, and then on the anniversary each year. A shorter form, beginning with the Trisagion prayers and going straight to the closing hymns, is sometimes called a Litiya for the Dead, or simply a Trisagion.
There is no exact English word for any of this, which is why you will often just see it written as a memorial service. If someone invites you to a fortieth-day memorial, it is not a second funeral: it is one of a series of moments the church builds in deliberately, so that a family is not left alone once the funeral is over.
What to ask the parish
Raise cremation before anything is arranged, not after. Orthodox practice is that burial is preferred, and cremation would need the blessing of the appropriate bishop in genuinely extenuating circumstances. The reasoning is that the body was the temple of the Holy Spirit and is owed respect accordingly, and no Orthodox tradition encourages cremation. A funeral director outside the community may not know this.
Ask how long the service runs and whether it will be held in the church or at the graveside, so that elderly or unwell relatives can be prepared. Orthodox services involve a good deal of standing.
Ask the priest when the third, ninth and fortieth day memorials will fall, and put them in the diary early. They are easy to miss in the fog after a funeral, and they matter.
If you are attending
If you have been invited to an Orthodox funeral and have never been to one, these are the moments worth knowing about in advance.
Do I need to be Orthodox?
No. You are welcome to attend, and nothing is required of you. Take your lead from those around you on when to stand, and simply do not join in with anything you are unsure about.
The body is present. Is that normal?
Yes. The body is present and the service is offered over it, and at the end people come forward to take their leave. If that is more than you are comfortable with, staying in your place is perfectly acceptable and nobody will think anything of it.
What should I wear?
Dark, modest clothing, with shoulders and knees covered. In some jurisdictions women cover their heads; if you are unsure, bring a scarf and follow the congregation.
How long will it be?
Longer than you are probably expecting, and much of it sung. Do not plan anything tight afterwards, and be ready to stand for extended stretches.
Where this comes from
We are not writing from inside this tradition, so everything on this page is drawn from the sources below and we have said what each one was used for. Nothing here is scripture quoted at you, and nothing has been filled in from assumption.
- The Orthodox Faith, Volume II: Worship, The Funeral, Orthodox Church in America
Used for: The structure of the service: the vigil following the form of Matins, the Trisagion prayers, Psalm 91 and the Great Litany, Alleluia in place of the usual opening hymn, the troparion and kontakion of the dead, Psalm 119, the hymns of Saint John of Damascus, the Beatitudes, the Thessalonians and John readings, and the final kiss with its prayer that God would remember the dead.
- Questions and Answers: Terminology, Absolution and Cremation, Orthodox Church in America
Used for: That burial is preferred and cremation would require the blessing of the appropriate hierarch in extenuating circumstances, the reasoning that the body was the temple of the Holy Spirit, and the panikhida, its other names across jurisdictions, and its observance on the third, ninth and fortieth days and anniversaries.
Tell us if we have this wrong
If you belong to this tradition and something here is inaccurate, incomplete, or simply put badly, we would genuinely like to know. We would rather be corrected than be politely wrong on a page that grieving families are reading. Corrections are made quickly and we will say what changed.
Send a correction